16# The Contentment Trap

When We Lose Sight of True Happiness

Hans Christian Andersen left us with a surreal piece of wisdom. He wrote about a mirror created by the devil that once shattered high in the sky into thousands upon thousands of pieces, falling to Earth like tiny grains of sand.

Anyone who got such a shard of glass in their eye would find their heart turning into a lump of ice. These people became as cold as stone inside. They could no longer feel anything except bitterness and pain. Instead, they surrendered to the temptations of contentment, because happiness seemed to them like a prayer that would never be answered.

Contentment Is Short-Lived

To remain permanently content, we must constantly face new challenges. We must keep expanding our endless horizons to feel fulfilled. We acquire possessions that serve as status symbols, only for them to turn into meaningless objects after a short while.

Contentment becomes a constant struggle to fill an inner emptiness – a restless pursuit of achievement and satisfaction. Like an intoxicating drug, without which we would immediately realise that everything that seems so stable and secure is actually worthless, because none of it can ever make us feel completely fulfilled.

Happiness – A Distorted Ideal?

And yet happiness is the one thing that makes us feel complete. It is not a game that can be won or lost. Only when we are truly happy do we realise that everything that seems materially important is merely secondary.

Contentment brings euphoria, while happiness gives us feelings that last forever. These feelings are almost recyclable, because we can recall them again and again – both the good and the bad.

Happiness is not merely a matter of our own actions, but also of our relationships and the kindness of others. Like a reflection in a mirror, where what we send out comes back to us, happiness multiplies when we share it.

As the saying often attributed to Albert Einstein goes: "Happiness is the only thing that doubles when you share it."

We Feel Content When We Have Something. We Feel Happy When We Have Someone.

Happiness is having someone who believes in you.

Gerda believed in Kay. She could have stayed with the old woman, who would have taken good care of her, or with the prince and princess, who could have offered her a higher social standing. She could even have enjoyed a comfortable life with the robber girl.

But she chose to believe in Kay and in their love.

When she finally found him and returned home with him – back to their small, unremarkable life – they had each other.

Wasn't that pure happiness?

Only when we recognise that contentment alone cannot fulfil us forever, and that the true source of happiness lies in an open and loving heart, will we understand that happiness grows when we share it.

It is through our connections with other people, through giving and receiving love, that we can experience the true depth and value of happiness.

Anastasia Weimer