8# Material Girls of Baku

Marriage, Divorce and the Road to Liberation

"I'm completely emancipated. Whenever there's an important decision to make, I ask my husband for permission. And I keep asking until he finally says yes, whether he wants to or not.

And I'm truly grateful to have him. Every time something goes wrong, I look at him and think: Thank goodness I'm not the one who has to clean up this mess."

The traditional Azerbaijani woman speaks with the elegance of a queen, skilfully stretching her words to disguise the empty silence between sentences. What could she possibly have to say that's interesting when the greatest adventure of her daily life takes place somewhere between the stove and the washing line?

Her life revolves around housework, children, baking and cooking – while, during the first years of marriage, she gradually grows from a size S to an XL.

Her nails shine in metallic silver, and her eyebrows are always so perfectly plucked that they almost resemble a work of art.

Her fashion sense is equally well considered: On special occasions, she wears dresses tailored precisely to her figure – naturally one size too small, because apparently less is more.

And the icing on the cake? Her husband pays for everything. After all, he has to compensate somehow for his personal freedom and his constant affairs.

It would be almost naive to believe that these women truly lead the "perfect" life – a life that sparkles on the outside while often demanding a high price behind the facade.

The Little E = Manipulation Secret of Azerbaijani Women

Emancipatio – the Latin word from which "emancipation" derives – is an honourable term with particular significance in feminist circles. It originally referred to the freeing of someone from another person's authority.

The struggle for self-determination and equality is also taking place in Baku, Azerbaijan.

More and more girls have had enough. From adolescence onwards, they are confronted with strict social expectations:

"Don't pluck your eyebrows, or people will think you're no longer a virgin!"

"Lower your eyes and avoid looking men directly in the face!"

"Don't be a bad girl! Don't you dare come home late – or better yet, don't go out at all!"

"Don't talk to strange men! What will the neighbours think?"

The traditional Azerbaijani woman is often portrayed as her husband's obedient servant, comparable to an object placed in a corner and expected to remain there without moving.

She allows him his "little freedoms", knowing that he will always return home.

The Azerbaijani man, according to this traditional script, marries only once – not necessarily for love, but out of a sense of duty.

He also knows that he will have to take out loans to pay for the wedding, the apartment and the furniture. Divorce would mean financial ruin.

Even worse for him is having his pride wounded by a woman.

The public humiliation of a bride on her wedding night, when her husband discovered that she was no longer a virgin, could end with him half-heartedly throwing her out of the house.

This patriarchal game continued to shape social expectations well into the beginning of the twenty-first century, carrying forward patterns associated with the Soviet era.

But now, more and more young women are beginning to reclaim control over their lives and shape them according to their own wishes.

Revenge for Humiliation: The Lifestyle Young Azerbaijani Women Are Claiming for Themselves

An emancipated young woman in Baku keeps several suitors at arm's length, dragging out their marriage proposals until the one with the biggest engagement ring finally appears.

His social status, the brand of his car and the model of his mobile phone are examined more closely than any potential sexually transmitted infections, the future in-laws or his genetic background.

Because Azeri Girls Are Material Girls

They have become true women of pleasure, inspired by their older brothers, cousins and dominant fathers – self-confident men whose stories of sexual adventures and personal freedom have both fascinated and repelled them.

Young Azeri women, too, enjoy their lives, but they keep quiet about it.

They wear the label of "good girls", and that reputation must be preserved at all costs, even through deception.

Their trick? They wait until their late twenties to get married.

And there's one thing they're especially careful to avoid: hot showers, in case the delicate stitch between their legs comes undone.

The Stitch That Could Reveal They Had a Life Before Marriage

Azeri girls throw magnificent engagement parties and extravagant weddings – all at the man's expense, of course.

Every little detail is savoured!

After all, marriage is supposed to happen only once in a lifetime.

And in Baku, apparently, the best thing is to get marriage over with as quickly as possible.

But on the wedding night – well, would you look at that – nothing happens.

Some Girls Have Remarkably Inventive Tricks Up Their Sleeves

"Operation Husband" begins during the engagement.

She secretly slips something into his drink. What exactly? That's beside the point. What's far more important is what it does!

But more on that later.

Some girls pretend to be naive and claim they're simply afraid of their first time.

And that's how things remain.

In the bedroom, nothing happens – a humiliation for the husband.

He wonders how he could possibly be impotent in his early thirties.

The woman remains childless because her husband is unable to father a child.

But Azerbaijani parents insist on becoming grandparents within the first year of marriage.

Eventually, this leads to divorce.

And one permanent stamp in the woman's passport: Divorced!

Salam, Freedom – Salam Azadlıq!

As a divorced woman, she can get her own apartment. She works, earns her own money and enjoys a fulfilling single life in which she can do whatever she wants – whenever she wants, as often as she wants and with whomever she wants.

More often than not, it is married men who approach her, and so the Azeri girl becomes a mistress.

But as a mistress, she is no longer the one being deceived. Instead, she lives a self-determined life, making her own decisions.

She remains independent, childless and free from the pressure to marry again.

The freedom she enjoys is her reward – even if it means remaining in an unconventional role.

A Divorced Woman Is a Free Woman in Azerbaijan

The story of Azerbaijani women today illustrates how they are increasingly reclaiming control over their lives.

They are breaking with old conventions, fighting for self-determination and using the status of a divorced woman to secure their independence.

These material girls often remain alone, and behind their apparent superficiality lies a deeper, personal rebellion against a society that has confined women to the role of victims for decades.

Emancipation in Azerbaijan today means not only breaking free from traditional constraints but also living life according to one's own rules – whatever the cost.

Anastasia Weimer